This Time, It's Forever
by SpidERSpins
Summary: This time, House doesn't have Amber to page to save him. Post Season 4.


Author Note: So, here I am about to write a FMA fanfic when the power goes out. I was without it for a whole week. And what really had me bawling was missing the beginning of House Season 5. I was beyond pissed, because I had been counting down for over a month. So as I stewed in my misery, I asked my mom what would happen if I stabbed an electrical socket. A little nervous, she told me that I wouldn't get electrocuted, but knowing my luck, the power would come on at the same time I did and then I would. So I stabbed it with my fork, in hopes of getting to the hospital in time to watch in there, but nothing happened… So I wrote this. Enjoy!!

Disclaimer: Okay, so I may call House 'My Housey-kins' and use possessives to the point where my family calls the show 'Your House,' but I don't actually own it…

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He sat in his office, idly searching through his desk for something that might hold his own attention for more than a minute. The blinds were pulled tight, not allowing any sunlight in as he silently brooded. The dark offered both a calming and depressing air, and House absently sighed.

His fingers searched blindly through his desk drawer, vaguely noting an old baloney sandwich he had thought he'd lost. House continued in his search, until his calloused hands closed around something. Intrigued, he pulled it out. And in his scarred palm, abused with age and the misery of his life, was a black pocket knife.

His brow rose, and studied it for a moment. He recognized the knife as one his father had given him, back when he was a boy and when his father still had hopes for him. House swallowed, turning it over in his hand and flicked open the blade.

It was a handsome knife, untouched and still rather brand new. House could see his face reflected on it, noticing how his eyes looked less blue and more gray now. He couldn't help but notice he looked tired and rather hopeless, at least more than usual. For a long moment, he stared at the blade and his reflection, before the wall outlet caught his eye.

After his near death experience number three, when he had made for the wall socket with a blade in hand, they'd taken the knife from him, like he might go for it again. Like he couldn't get another one, such as the one resting in his hand. He lightly licked his bottom lip, and help up the open blade.

With sudden decision, he snatched up his cane and limped over the wall outlet, and bent down lightly to inspect it. It was a new one, because Cuddy had insisted upon it. With a swallow, he lined up the knife to it, and then paused with uncharacteristic hesitance.

He, admittedly, hated a lot of things. And a lot of people. But one thing that was up among his top most despised was hypocrisy. His continuous berating of those who were resigned to their impending death and those who chose the easy way out was proof of that.

But more than hypocrisy, more than anything, really, he hated pain the most. And without Wilson to talk to, he was in a hell of a lot more pain then usual. And Wilson would, undeniably, never forgive him, and House doubted the pain and dull ache from Wilson's absence would better over time. In fact, the aching would most likely grow. And he didn't want to live like this for the rest of his miserable, sorry excuse of a life.

With renewed determination, he prepared for what was to come. This time there would be no Amber, no Cutthroat Bitch (or 'CB' as he had shortened it to) to call to rescue him. Not that he wanted to be rescued. This time, he wasn't looking to see what was waiting for him after death. This time, it wasn't just another near death experience to add to his track record. This time was for real.

He had his Vicodin in his pocket and his cane in hand. He had all that he would need for whatever came next, though, a pocket sized Wilson might have been nice, but at the moment Wilson hated him with every fiber of his being. And then, House thrust the blade into the wall socket.

--

Author Note: So what happens? Does House die? Is he saved by Wilson and do they afterwards skip off into the sunlight in their bromance? Or does the electricity suddenly go out, leaving him without power to kill himself by for a week, like mine did? I shan't tell you, Muwhaha. Review anyways, though. Tell me of any mistakes, and I'll fix them. Thanks for reading. (Wow!! My first short Author Note! I usually ramble for daaaaays on end)


End file.
